Guess what I just did! I made a date with a boy from the internet. But not just any boy, a boy who seems very cool and like we might hit it off...as opposed to every other OkC date I've been on. I feel like I'm growing as a person by doing this.

While date-fellow and I were chatting I also had a conversation with another fellow about casual sex. One of the first things he said to me was: "i noticed that you are looking for casual sex?". After a brief conversation about why I wasn't interested in cybering with him and why I probably wouldn't have casual sex with him if he was in Toronto he said "im not just looking for sex, i want to know the person, i dont just want meaningless sex with a stranger. im sorry if i came across as just wanting sex". While I appreciate his sentiments and his apology, I don't understand how could he have possibly thought he was making a different first impression. He opened by trying to lube me up by telling me I was pretty which, sadly, is the kind of compliment I get almost exclusively from someone looking for only sex. Then it went, predictably, straight to the proposition. Given that he was the proposition-er maybe he was unaware that, as the proposition-ee, I get this sort of thing every time I go onto OkC. On the other hand, it's an online dating site. Should that not be a safe assumption? I wish I had asked him what his success rate was with OkC casual sex. I also wish I knew how often ladies who list 'casual sex' hook up with internet guys. Maybe I'm the minority. Maybe most of these ladies actually go for the propositions. By listing casual sex as an (unlikely) option, am I being a tease? Or a prude by (almost) never going for it? I also list long-term dating as an interest but I certainly don't long-term date everyone who asks me out, and I bet it's the same for everyone on OkC. In conclusion, I think I am both justified in listing casual sex as an interest and equally justified in not having casual sex with 99.99% of the guys who proposition me. And if they don't like it, they can, and probably will, go fuck themselves.

I was having a decent conversation on OkC and the subject came up of the ridiculous wooing tactics of some of the guys I've has the pleasure if chatting with. Guy asked for an example so I gave "hey baby r u a milf", which you may remember from yesterday's update. His response was "You're 29...." and "If they misuse the word, it'll lose all its power."
GoodSteph: to be fair, the average age for first time childbirth in the states is 25.
GoodSteph: and I'm sure this guy was well aware of that fact...
Mike2021: That's like saying some teenager who has a kid is a milf.
Mike2021: Just... no.
Mike2021: Milfs start around.... 35, at the absolute earliest.
GoodSteph: I don't know, if were going strictly by definition, a hot teen mom should count as a milf
Mike2021: Naaah, then she's just some trashy person who had a kid.
Mike2021: There have to be standards. Milf implies she's a bit older, too.
GoodSteph: I think we;re going to have to agree to disagree
Mike2021: Hmm.
Mike2021: I have some pretty strong, immutable beliefs on this subject.

What I would like to know is, is there a minimum age to be considered a milf? Sure the term is often used to describe older women who have kids but I feel that a milf, or "mother I'd like to fuck", should embrace all sexy mothers regardless of their age. But I am not well-versed on the rules of milf-dom. Perhaps there is some milf etiquette (milftiquette?) that I am not aware of. Anyone care to enlighten me? I'm all about the learning.

Another OkC charmer. I know I criticize these guys but, really, this is why I keep going back. 10 conversations with nice guys don't measure up to half the entertainment value of people like danr3623.

[11:19:49 am]danr3623:hey baby
[11:20:29 am]GoodSteph:hello
[11:20:34 am]danr3623:r u a milf
[11:21:04 am]GoodSteph:no
[11:21:16 am]danr3623:do u like to fuck younger guys
[11:22:18 am]danr3623:do u like to fuck younger guys
[11:22:38 am]GoodSteph:define younger
[11:25:36 am]danr3623:as in younger than u
[11:27:01 am]GoodSteph:well, if they are old enough that it isn't creepy and they are competent in bed, sure
[11:27:15 am]danr3623:so me i am 25 is that ok
[11:27:58 am]GoodSteph:if we're basing things only on age, it's not bad
[11:28:22 am]danr3623:lol i have a 9 1/2 dik that even better
[11:28:48 am]GoodSteph:if we're basing things only on age and dick size, it's not bad
[11:29:06 am]danr3623:lol what else u wanna know
[11:30:09 am]GoodSteph:are you an interesting person? do you have a sense of humour? do I even want your 25 year old, 9 1/2 inch dick coming anywhere near me?
[11:30:31 am]danr3623:yes yes and yes
[11:31:10 am]GoodSteph:Ohhh. Well, since you say so, let's have sex right now!
[11:31:25 am]danr3623:ok u want to
[11:31:37 am]GoodSteph:What do you think?
[11:31:57 am]danr3623:yes
[11:32:37 am]GoodSteph:Sadly, I'm going to need a little more than your word for you to interest me.
[11:33:19 am]danr3623:i would love to bag u and eat u out baby
[11:34:47 am]GoodSteph:That's nice.
[11:34:56 am]danr3623:would u like itr
[11:36:28 am]GoodSteph:No offense but if I banged every guy who talked dirty to me on OkCupid I'd probably have like a million STDs. If you want me to be interested in you, you have to try a little bit harder to come up with something original.
[11:37:01 am]danr3623:i will show u papers that said i dont have an std
[11:37:38 am]GoodSteph:I think you're missing the point.

I'm back!

For now, at least. This time I'm not going about "dating" with a mission. Maybe it's not something I want to completely turn myself off of? Even though I still maintain that dating is dumb. But I will date on occasion. And I will write about the antics here.

I went on two dates recently, as anyone who was with me on New Years Eve heard me complain about. The guy was very nice, there was nothing unlikeable about him, except that he was a bit dull. And a proper Jewish fellow. Which shouldn't be a bad thing, but it is. I won't go so far as to say that being a practicing Jew, or practicing in any religion that isn't the one in which I was strictly brought up, is a deal breaker. I will say that if this is the case they have to be pretty awesome in other ways to make up for it. And, well, he wasn't.

I've been dabbling a little bit with OkCupid again, which always leads to entertainment. Most recently, I've experienced the not entirely uncommon phenomenon of dudes showing pictures of their penis as an attempt to woo me. What's up with that? I know my profile says one of the things I'm potentially looking for is casual sex (mostly there for entertainment value, and to get sent pics of guy's boners), but I don't think I come across as a slutty slut bag looking to slut it up. And even if I was, do even the sluttiest of ladies just pick up and go for a photo of a dick? Has this tactic ever worked for anyone? Some dude is like "Hey baby, I don't have any information in my profile, but here's a few pictures of my penis" and the lady is all like *swoon* and then they do it. I find that difficult to imagine. But I suppose it must work sometimes. Otherwise, why would the penis pics happen as often as they do? I wonder what the ratio is of penis pictures shown to sex happening.

Now, what you've all been waiting for, PENIS!

An excerpt from a conversation I had on January 23rd, the last time I was on OkCupid.

[12:11:48 am]FuriousMoosen:Are you doing anything this weekend?

[12:12:39 am]GoodSteph:Indeed I am. I have a couple of parties and an old friend visiting from Vancouver and a huge art proposal deadline on Monday.

[12:13:24 am]FuriousMoosen:Sigh. My dear parents(because I am 19 and still alowed to live at home) are out of town for the weekend, and I was going to ask if you'd like to join me

Hee hee.

How come no 19 year olds invited me over when their parents were out of town when I was, you know, 19? Sigh.

I seem to have taken an unintentional hiatus from the wacky world of dating. No reason, really. I would have probably come back a bit sooner but I didn't want to deal with the lonely people so close to Valentine's Day, aka the day designed to send single people into seizures of self pity and desperation. I spent my Valentine's Day house sitting a friend's cat. It was delightful.

Before my hiatus I did go on a couple of uninteresting dates. Also, Micheal the lawyer wanted to go out again but the plans fell through after some less than enthusiastic phone tag. I did not cry myself to sleep over that one.

It's been almost a month since I've visited the dating sites. I have a lot of catching up to do. Am I up to the challenge or will I falter? Only time will tell!

I just returned from my first date. It was really boring. Mostly we talked about work.

Is this a typical first date thing? Are they all the boring, basic Q&A sessions? I hope not. I suppose I'll find out eventually.

He mentioned going on another date. We'll see if I hear from him. I'll go on another date but I won't cry if I never hear from him again.

In conclusion, he's not the love of my life but there is still a chance that he'll surprise me.

Not a lot of guys manage to ruin their first impression with their message subject line. Earlier this evening I got possibly the worst one yet*: "I'll Pay".

The mind boggles at what he could be referring to. I haven’t read the message yet but I’m looking forward to it. Regardless of the content in the message this guy has already made a negative first impression.

I'm about to read it. . . now.

"if you want to grab a drink together i'll pay for it, if you allow me to ofcourse :-) "

That wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, what I was kind of hoping for. Still, what a horrible opening!



*"Stalker" is actually the worst one yet but the sender of that message had already cemented my impression of him.

I love chatting in OkCupid. Seriously, it's hilarious. Here's another gem:

[7:16:56 pm]RuleThem:hi

[7:17:11 pm]GoodSteph:hello

[7:17:26 pm]RuleThem:how are u?

[7:17:56 pm]GoodSteph:i'm good. how are you?

[7:18:00 pm]RuleThem:bored...and a bit horny...up for some fun? ;)

[7:18:21 pm]GoodSteph:not really

[7:18:41 pm]RuleThem:why not...its fun...dont u want to have fun :))

[7:19:08 pm]GoodSteph:ooooh. peer pressure. just like grade school!

[7:19:47 pm]RuleThem:thats yes or no? lol

[7:20:15 pm]GoodSteph:i'm still leaning towards no

[7:20:43 pm]RuleThem:what if i tell u that i will treat u as my personal slut and fucktoy...and no one will ever know? ;)

[7:21:27 pm]GoodSteph:well, now that you've made me feel unique and special...

[7:21:30 pm]GoodSteph:still no

Not all my conversations are as awful as what I've posted. But those aren't nearly as entertaining.

I just noticed this now, while re-reading the conversation, isn't being a "personal slut" a bit of a contradiction?

Here is the conversation with the delightful fellow I wouldn't go out with. Actually, it's the tail end of our first conversation which contained such omitted tidbits as his 2 failed marriages and that my art must be bad because I'm poor. If only I'd thought to copy my conversations a little earlier.

( Be still my heart )

The train-wreck that would have been a date with him would have been spectacular. I wasn't lying when I said I almost regretted putting him in his place. Luckily he is a moron who, in all probability, doesn't know what presumptuous and condescending mean. Yesterday he sent me a message wishing me a happy new year, the subject line being "Stalker".

swoon